Here i am..again,stuck in this particular sticky and unusual situation like i always do every MORNING.But hey,who am i to complain about a thing huh?This 20 years old gal that didn’t know anything or can’t seem to do anything right(at least,that’s what they said or think of me MOST of the time).Do i care about all this shit anymore?If you ask me this like a year ago,i probably say ‘YES’.But NOT the new me cause this gal doesn’t seem to give a damn about anything or anyone anymore for she thinks that everything is tiring and unworthy of her precious lil time.Ohhh,how i love this new me..she’s totally different than the old me.The NEW one is much more adventurous,funny,open-minded,hardcore,easy to talk to,more friendlier than ever,non-judgemental,more passion and compassionate,nature loving,a one of a kind ‘wanderlust-erer’,not afraid to speak her mind,brave,tough,stubborn,yet you can still see her as an average naive,sweet,and innocent girl roaming around in the streets looking for an adventure of her own or as i prefer to be known as ‘plainjane’.
I never really thought about my true calling all this while because i don’t seem to care or the correct term of it,being ‘oblivious’ to my surroundings and the people in it,more or less the things that happened in that circle.But since i’ll be turning 21(yes,21!a HUGE number i must say coz it marks the beginning of WOMENHOOD 4 us gals and the end of our YOUTH..T.T).Anyway,yeah since i’ll soon be that women,i asked myself from time to time,what is my true calling?The true purpose of my existence in this world?Where can i find it?When will i find it?How can i find it?Why do i have to find it?Is it out there for me?
I haven’t found the answer to that,yet.Even as i’m typing this at the moment,i still dont know what is my true calling.One thing i know right now,at this moment,in my 20 years of life,i could never find my true calling if i’m still here.Stuck.Trapped.Imprisoned.In my own room,in my own bed that i have been slept in all night since the past 20 long years,in the same house that i’ve been living since as far as i could remember,looking at the same window and view i saw every day for the past 20 years or less,doing the same old,boring routine everyday and repeating the same thing over and over and over again.It’s too tiring you know.What’s the meaning of that?There’s no fun and adventure in that!NOT AT ALL!
Oh boy!Let me tell ya,this kind of feelings is not good at all.Naah..
That is why i think in order for me to find my true calling,first,i must get away from this place i called home and go away to a better place.A place where there’s no one to judge me,no one to ordering me around,no one to be mad at me for some stupid stuff,no one to tell me what to do,no one to control me,no one to bothers me with silly and small matter,and most importantly NO ONE TO STOP ME FROM CHASING AFTER MY DREAMS.
One day,i know that day will come.Maybe not now or maybe not tomorrow,but in 5 or 8 years from now i know that i will be at that place.Living in a small place of mine,filled with tons and tons of books,a cute and vintage little kitchen,a warm yet sophisticated living room with a fireplace in the wall,a blue or turquoise coloured wall and doors,and a small garden with pretty flowers blooming all year round.Only then,i think i know that i have found my true calling..